A few months ago I had to say goodbye to my cat Yoshi. Her sister Gromit passed on a few years ago, and Yoshi helped make that time easier for me.
I got them when they were little tiny balls of fur. Each with different personalities. Over time, Gromit was more of a lumbering Totoro. Yoshi developed a distinct sense of ownership over me. She absolutely had to be near me at all times. She was like a little furry gargoyle; perched on the couch, or on a couch arm, or on me. She was my protector. My bodyguard. She needed to know what I was doing all the time.
Yoshi, perched next to Sara, watching me as I sit across from her on the couch. She always had to know where I was.
She was all peach and blue and she didn't meow as much as she let out this scratchy sound, like "kkkrrrrreeooowww". A little like a record needle jumping. But with more of a meow in it.
She was 18, and when you reach the age of 18, things can catch up to you. I knew we had little time together after Gromit passed, but you are never prepared for when the time has come. Luckily we were home when she was ready and we helped her pass with ease and comfort. I had to say goodbye to my little protector of the last 18 years. I had to say goodbye to one of my best friends.
It's been a hard transition. When Gromit died Yoshi was there to help. When we came home from burying her next to her sister, there were no more animals in the house. It was too quiet. There was nobody to sit behind my head, or on my lap. I didn't have her little green eyes following me around the room, watching me. She wasn't going to just walk into the room, see what I was doing, and then head back to her pillow. We shared tuna sandwiches on Wednesday nights. She sat on my lap when Sara and I watch movies. All these little things that developed over the last 18 years, and suddenly they are all gone.
It's been tough - I'm still not totally over it yet, and every time I think about getting a new four-legged feline friend I feel like I'd be betraying Gromit and Yoshi. But I know that they would want me to find more kitty friendship and give some new friends just as much love as they received over the years. I know it. But it's still hard.
I got Yoshi and Gromit when I was in my early 20's. I'm now 40, and I had to say goodbye to a dear friend that loved me unconditionally and not having them near me is a strange feeling.
Yoshi was one of my best friends. She never judged me. She only loved me in the way that a pet loves their owner, and I know that time will heal the wound I feel for her not being part of my life any longer. I miss her greatly. Even after her being gone for a few months. The quiet moments at home without hearing her or seeing her still hurt.
These words are for her. Peach and blue. My bodyguard. Sometimes prissy, sometimes bratty. Always overprotective. Always full of an overabundance of love.
Thanks, Yoshi, for being a devoted companion. I can't measure how much love I had for you, or how sad I am without you by my side.